Brenda Nolen

I don’t know how to put into words the depth of my sadness after hearing the news that an online friend and her 14-year old son were beaten, then murdered by her estranged husband yesterday.  Some of you may know her (Chris Keith).  She ran Adventures of a Thrifty Mama:  http://adventuresofathriftymama.blogspot.com/

This brought up so many mixed emotions.  I’m half the country away from being able to help her mother in any way.  I desperately want to.  I’m desperately sad, not only for the loss of this precious soul and her son but for the future she was just embarking on.  I’m desperately sad for her surviving children, who are so young (all three are under 10 years old).  And I’m desperately sad for her mom, who not only had to cope with the loss of her daughter and grandson but is now raising three young children.

This brought up some memories that I haven’t quite buried but kept at bay.  I used those memories to make me a stronger person.  I don’t speak often about that time in my life because it is the past and I don’t like being seen as a victim.  I’m not.  I got out.  But that could have easily been me.  I fled, with my two young boys and literally the clothes on my back but even though I was a state away, for about a year I was armed and ready to see his face waiting for me every time I left the house or returned home.

One time, Chris mentioned being scared.  Now, we all know why.  If, for any reason, you get that feeling in your gut that the person standing in front of you could truly harm you, don’t ignore it.  Look at all the reasons why that fear is there, then hold onto it.  Prepare for it.  Never forget it so you won’t be caught off guard if/when it happens.  Too many have passed those feelings off as “crazy” or excused abuse away because of various reasons I won’t list.  Pay attention and prepare.  Keep this from happening again.