Tag: News

Health And Wellness, Journal

Perpetual Outrage

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This post stems from a “I have had enough” post on Facebook. I have a wide variety of friends (or those I follow) on social media. There will always be topics I do not care about and I usually just scroll past those posts. The outrage that began before the last Presidential election meant I was scrolling more than actually reading most days. Lately, though, I have noticed the constant state of outrage is spreading from political topics to just about everything. From politics to sexual harassment to even herbal medicine and knitting (I am serious), it seems an opinion cannot be made unless there is outrage behind it. I am so tired of it.

I am curious about those who are perpetually outraged: how is your home life? How is your relationship with those who share your joys and sorrows? Do you care this much about the plight of your family, friends or neighbors? How does “that” (whatever is happening on the world stage, whether it’s words said or Tweeted by the President or “equal pay” for actors or …) directly affect you and those you love? I know for most, the knee-jerk reaction will be to say it affects us all but it doesn’t and you would realize this if you took a step back. I understand how difficult that can be when you are in the thick of it but living in a state of outrage all the time will only lead to illness and unhappiness (not only for you but those around you). I am not advocating sticking your head in the sand and pretending nothing is going on in the world. Being aware can be good as long as that awareness consumes (and ultimately) ruins your life. Before I emotionally leap into an issue, I ask myself: how does this directly affect me right now? If it doesn’t, and never will, then I let it go. If it might have a direct affect on my life some time, I keep an eye on it.

This month marks 8 years since my body, after years of being perpetually outraged, extended its middle finger and said, “I’m done.” It took me quite a while to realize I must come first. I must care about (and love) myself before all others or I will end up alone and dead way too young. I am, now, the happiest (and healthiest) I have ever been.

Health And Wellness, personal

Core Motivation

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I am posting this on both blogs because I think this is one of the most profound videos I have seen.  Frank Kern gave this address back in 2008(?) at an Internet Marketing seminar.  It’s roughly 2 hours long (that’s my disclosure, there) but the first hour and a half is spent on you and how you can learn who you truly want to be (what you truly want out of life).  Well, at least that’s how I saw it.

So, you want to lose weight?  Why?  Do you think you’ll be happy once you lose the weight?  That’s what a lot of people think: I’ll be happy if or when.  Those are the people who, once they reach their goal and find out they are still the same person, just in a skinny body, end up putting on not only the weight they had originally lost but more!  Those are the people who win the lottery (literally) yet wind up penniless and miserable, with no friends or family.

Before we begin any journey in life, we need to really take a look at who we really are and what we truly want out of life.  The exercise that Frank walks them (us) through is: What would be your perfect average day?  Not a day when you are doing something special (like taking a trip) but your perfect normal average day.  What time would you wake up?  Who would you be with?  What would you have for breakfast?  That sort of thing.

Think about it.  If your dream is to never have to work again, what would you do to occupy your time?  If your dream is to lose 100 pounds, what would you do next?  How would that change your life?  Let’s say you want to run marathons.  O.k.  So, how would you spend your day if you were snowed in?

Once you do this exercise per Frank’s description, take a good honest look at it.  You need to take action now to become happy with your life.  After watching this video, I realized that I’ve been doing this for a number of years without consciously realizing it.  I have let friends go (some of my oldest friends) because they were not conducive with my happiness.  I’ve done the same thing with family members.  My attitude about life and circumstances has changed dramatically, all for the better.  I used to be angry and ready for a fight.  I was very active in the political arena with my primary focus on the injustices of this or that.  While that is alright, I never truly focused on how I could turn that around to make my (or anyone else’s) life better.  I was extremely negative, spending the majority of my time just bitching, ranting, and buying more ammunition (it’s like food or money or air … or happiness.  You can never have enough). 🙂

Now, I’m doing my best to improve my life and sharing it with you along the way, in the hope that it may help you, too.  I haven’t sat down and officially done the exercise mentioned above yet (I will in a little bit) but I have been thinking about it a lot.  My perfect, average day would pretty much be my life now (just in a location where I can smell pine trees when I open the front door and not hear sirens and police helicopters for hours at a time, like this morning … 4 hours!).  I would have the strength to split wood or hand-turn soil all day long if need be.  I wouldn’t have neighbors that I can hear cough (it’s not that bad but you know what I mean) and I can raise any animal I damn well please!

So, what about you?

Health And Wellness, personal

Domestic Violence and Tragedy

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I don’t know how to put into words the depth of my sadness after hearing the news that an online friend and her 14-year old son were beaten, then murdered by her estranged husband yesterday.  Some of you may know her (Chris Keith).  She ran Adventures of a Thrifty Mama:  http://adventuresofathriftymama.blogspot.com/

This brought up so many mixed emotions.  I’m half the country away from being able to help her mother in any way.  I desperately want to.  I’m desperately sad, not only for the loss of this precious soul and her son but for the future she was just embarking on.  I’m desperately sad for her surviving children, who are so young (all three are under 10 years old).  And I’m desperately sad for her mom, who not only had to cope with the loss of her daughter and grandson but is now raising three young children.

This brought up some memories that I haven’t quite buried but kept at bay.  I used those memories to make me a stronger person.  I don’t speak often about that time in my life because it is the past and I don’t like being seen as a victim.  I’m not.  I got out.  But that could have easily been me.  I fled, with my two young boys and literally the clothes on my back but even though I was a state away, for about a year I was armed and ready to see his face waiting for me every time I left the house or returned home.

One time, Chris mentioned being scared.  Now, we all know why.  If, for any reason, you get that feeling in your gut that the person standing in front of you could truly harm you, don’t ignore it.  Look at all the reasons why that fear is there, then hold onto it.  Prepare for it.  Never forget it so you won’t be caught off guard if/when it happens.  Too many have passed those feelings off as “crazy” or excused abuse away because of various reasons I won’t list.  Pay attention and prepare.  Keep this from happening again.