Journal

What Is Yours To Do?

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This question is central to Gordon White’s teachings (of Rune Soup) , and something I ask myself every day when I am beginning to feel the weight of everything (from physical, real-world tasks to news headlines to all of this *waves my hands around in a circle*). Asking myself, “What is mine to do?” grounds me in a way nothing else has. This simple question centers me, draws me inward, and helps me focus on my true goals and desires.

I set some goals this year, and was doing pretty good. In March, I began slacking on them when some health news shook me. It set me back but I think I needed that time to just stop, think, regroup, and plan. That’s when I started (and finished, I hope) fixing my website. I went through every page, replaced pictures, fixed links, prettied up the recipes, deleted a ton of posts that did not need to be posts, and as of 4 hours ago, I am done! Having said that, if you see anything wrong, just let me know.

Then today, I repaired my ugly potato planter (I used wood that we had gotten free and it warped even more once water was introduced to its environment, so I put in some corner brackets), and removed some conduit that wasn’t being used by anyone but some carpenter bees (I still don’t know why they chose conduit over the abundant amount of wood). I cleaned up the mess (me AND the yard), then sat down here.

You see, Gordon White passed away. He was so much younger than me (he’ll always be 27 in my eyes) and his passing has left a gaping hole in my life. I didn’t realize just how many times throughout the day I thought about him until there were no more posts, stories, photos, observations, Buffy or Lord of the Rings references from him.

I have been a fan-girl of his for many moons (was amongst the first Rune Soup Premium Members), although most of his teachings flew right over my head in the beginning. To be brutally honest, some of them still do. However, I have learned that my learning style is “in my own time.” When I am ready to truly learn, something will click and then I am off to the races! I will eat and breathe nothing but that subject until I am dreaming about it. I absolutely love it when it happens!

I promise, there is a point to this post. I used to be completely obsessive about everything else going on in the world. EVERYTHING! I would be on the computer for 14 hours a day, reading this news story, or verifying that report. This took a toll on my health and my relationships with my children and husband. I slowly started pulling back and was almost living a “normal” life when I stumbled onto Gordon White. He helped me to see how a life can be lead while not hiding my head in the sand about all of the current events. I learned how to observe them without internalizing them. I learned how to control my knee-jerk reactions and overinflated ego: exactly how was I going to affect global crises?

Through Gordon White, and with the wider Rune Soup community, I learned to live in this tumultuous world without letting it consume me. I learned to take accountability for the things I was truly responsible for and learned what I truly had to ability to change. My focus became similar to the Jewish tradition of charity (Tzedakah (צְדָקָה): Charity starts with you, then your immediate family, then extended family, then local community, and ever widening from there. This charity doesn’t simply revolve around money. It’s so much more than that. It’s allowing your focus and attention (or intention) to be on something you can do to improve circumstances.

In other words, I learned what is mine to do. I learned that stressing or raging over current events was only feeding the energies surrounding those events, while depriving myself and my family of the simple, enjoyable things in life like an attentive mother and wife, real food to eat instead of fast food, general repairs around the house actually finished, plants thriving instead of barely surviving, healthier lives, happier lives, and that is all thanks to my favorite perpetually 27 year old wizard shaman friend (and our little RSPM Scooby gang).

Now, amongst all of the wars (and rumors of wars) out there currently, ask yourself:

What Is Mine To Do?

Bread, Drying, Food Storage, Preserving

Reviving My Baking Passion with Fresh Sprouts

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While re-adjusting to our move, I am slowly re-learning what I loved to do. One thing is baking. The second, is sprouting. I used to love having fresh alfalfa sprouts in the fridge.

So, I decided to experiment with the supplies I already have on hand. That brings us to this video. These are the original grains (white wheat, red wheat, and barley) that I used to make my sprouted grain video 6 YEARS AGO! I show you how I had them stored and we play the game of “Will they sprout?”

It turns out they all did! The barley was the quickest to sprout, followed closely by the white wheat, then the red, which took a bit longer. They are all currently in my dehydrators, which I’m using this time instead of the oven, as it allows for more even drying and better preservation of flavors. I can’t wait to bake something with these! The anticipation is building as I think about the wonderful bread, muffins, or pastries I could create using this freshly dehydrated grain mix. The unique flavors and textures they will bring to my baked goods are sure to impress anyone who gets a taste!

Here’s the link to my original post:

Sprouted Grain Flour!
Journal

Transforming Our House into a Home: A Journey of Growth

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When I first started this website, it was to have an outlet for sharing the things I have learned. I wanted to share my triumphs and failures, all while being as brutally honest as I was comfortable being. This was also a way for me to share my wisdom (that may not come up in your typical conversation) with my children.

No one knows everything that has happened in our lives. Sharing ALL of our trials and tribulations always felt too much like complaining. I wanted to share HOW I got through them. This website, YouTube channel, and Instagram account have always been a way for me to get out of my own head and do something productive (and maybe have a little fun in the process). I wanted you (and me) to see that no matter what was happening in our lives, there were things we could do to either work out that tension (hand tilling an entire yard) or allow us to focus on something positive (cooking has always helped me).

Transitioning back into our house has been interesting. When we moved out, this was just a house we slept in (basically). We had no interest in changing much. Our main focus was making sure the roof didn’t cave in. However, this changed over the past two years (that’s when we moved back). We had to relearn what it means to be us: to learn who we are. It amazes me, still, that only two years in another living situation can transform your soul.

We are slowly learning we can say or do whatever we want without the constant question of “Will this offend/irritate/confuse any of them?” There is no longer a “them” in our lives. Choices/decisions were made and now, we can live our authentic selves. Before our decision to move, there was always the nagging question: What will we do if help is needed from us? Now, we know our help was offered and ultimately rejected. Neither of us have any regrets.

So, now what?

Our focus is on making this house our home. This will be a very slow process but we are taking it step by step. First, we worked on the yard (still so much we want to do with the backyard but that will have to wait). Inside the house, we have to do this before we can do that, so we can do the next thing. This house, no matter what we end up doing to it, is our home. I didn’t fix my health issues overnight and it will be the same with the repairs/updates to this 100 year old home. The majority of the things we are planning, we have never done on this scale but we are so excited! We will have so many new things to learn and I will do my best to bring you along for the ride.

Food Storage, Garden, Health And Wellness, Journal

Why I Chose Convenience Over Preparation in Life

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I made my first Substack post and who knows if I will make another one. I barely remember (or don’t know what to share) to post here.

So, here’s the link if you want to read it there, or just scroll down and read the pasted text here.

https://open.substack.com/pub/brendanolen587563/p/it-isnt-prepping-its-laziness?r=cg71s&utm_medium=ios

I used to be a prepper. I used to have a full inventory of everything we would need to survive whatever catastrophe could befall us. I live in California, so my disaster plans included drought, earthquakes, and flooding but mostly civil unrest. Then, through a mind shift that changed my focus from lack to plenty, I reverted back to my original way of thinking: I’m lazy.

I could use terms with a more positive connotation: frugal, thrifty, organized, budget-friendly, etc. I could pretend it’s for health reasons but that would be a lie. My base feeling towards all-things-storage is laziness.

I can’t stand leaving my house every day to purchase food or supplies. I can’t stand planning every meal months ahead of time so I know what I need for the future. I know people who shop every day for that night’s meal and it drives me crazy! They actually love it and I just don’t understand how!


Do you know what I love? Knowing that I can just walk over there and grab whatever I need off of the shelf without getting dressed and driving through “shouldn’t all of you be at work or something?” traffic. That was the only good thing about the Covid lockdowns: everyone was so paranoid that virtually no one was out shopping!

That’s why I grow food, too. It isn’t to control what goes into my body or to save money (because anyone who has grown food knows it is cheaper to buy a crate of tomatoes from Mexico than grow tomatoes while dealing with the “what is wrong with this plant now?” issues. I grow food so I only have to walk 10 feet to get food and only have to wear enough clothing to not scare the neighbors.
Technically, we are healthier. Before we moved back into our house (we lived with my in-laws for 2 ½ years), we ate out a lot (there simply was no room for us there). Since moving back and building up our supplies, we have lost weight, become stronger, and are so much happier. Whoever said laziness was a bad thing obviously didn’t know us!

Repair

DIY Repair: MSI GE 75 Raider Power Port Solutions

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I have a 2019 MSI GE 75 Raider laptop and, from one day to the next, I couldn’t get the power cord to pop into the port. It kept pushing inside the case. I figured it would be something expensive for me to fix, so I prepared to purchase a new laptop while I cracked this one open to see if it is worth repairing. It turned out to be the cheapest computer repair I have ever done!

There are two thin pieces of plastic that support the power port: one underneath and one at the back of the port. It was the back piece that snapped off. That’s it! I didn’t have to buy a new port, figure out if I could solder anything … I just reconnected that back piece with Super glue, filled in the empty voids with JB Weld (I figured if it is good enough to plug a hole in an engine block, it’s strong enough for my computer case), and added a little behind the back piece of plastic.

I then wrapped the power port with plastic wrap to protect it (and enable it to be removed if something does go wrong with it in the future), squished it into the JB Weld, and let it cure.

About 4 hours later, I removed the power port, removed the plastic wrap, cleaned up and bits of JB Weld that oozed out with an X-acto knife, and put it all back together. I now have a fully charged, fully functional laptop again!

Canning, Food Storage

Easy Oven-Roasted Nut Storage Method

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This is so easy!

Preheat your oven to 250 degrees F.

Take whatever nuts you want to store. Shell them or just make sure there are no bits of shell or debris.

Place the nuts in whatever size jars you want and place new lids and rings on.

Place your jars on a baking tray (for stability), and bake for one hour. Remove and let cool.

As long as they are sealed, they will store almost forever.

Household

Transforming Our Front Yard: A Year in Review

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It has taken a year, but I can now officially say our front yard is finished! We learned quite a bit from the first time we laid down mulch to this time.

First, this is what our yard looked like one year ago:

A view of an unkempt front yard with brown, dried plants and patches of overgrown grass next to a sidewalk and house.

This was after 2 1/2 years of not living here and being able to maintain it.

And this is a week ago:

A front yard recently completed with new black mulch, trimmed plants, and a clear walkway leading to the entrance of a house.

I pulled out any plants I didn’t want, moved those I wanted to, dug out the old cedar shavings, planted whatever plants that will hopefully grow, leveled the dirt (which involved moving some to the back yard), then went to a local supplier of such things as bark, shavings, compost, animal bedding, etc. and bought our bark.

Between everything else on the property and this yard, it did legitimately take me a year to transform our yard but I love it!

Appetizer, Bread, Salads

Easy Focaccia Croutons Recipe

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Focaccia Croutons 

Cube the focaccia. Lay it out in a single layer on baking sheets. Spray with a little oil, then season however you want. 

Bake at 350 degrees F for about 10 to 15 minutes (until they just start to brown). Remove from oven and let cool completely. 

For immediate-eating storage, put in a jar and store in the refrigerator (if you live in a warm climate, the oil on the croutons will go rancid after a month or so on the countertop). For longer term storage, place in quarter canning jars and bake at 250 degrees for one hour. Remove from oven, make sure the jars sealed, then store. This is an experiment. I have no idea how long they will last (this is how I store nut meats, like walnuts and pecans, which last YEARS without ever going rancid).

Breakfast, Journal, Recipe

Easy Baked French Toast: The Perfect Breakfast Treat

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I have just posted my first video since we moved back to town. It’s quick and dirty (no tripods or proper lights) but to say we are happy with our move is an understatement. First, I will post the recipe and video. Then, I will give you a life update.

Print Recipe

Baked French Toast

Author: brendanolen Cuisine: Courses:
Difficulty: Beginner
Estimated Cost: $ 1

Description

A simple, busy-night, macro friendly French toast.

Ingredients

Instructions

  1. Slice your bread into one inch slices. Lay on a baking sheet and let dry out completely (one to three days, depending on your temperature and humidity).

  2. Oil your baking dish (spread with butter or spray with Pam). Place your dried bread in your baking dish.

  3. Crack your eggs into a bowl, add a little liquid and any other optional ingredients. Beat well, then pour as evenly as possible over each piece of bread. Cover and place in the refrigerator for an hour or two. Remove from refrigerator, flip your bread, ensuring each piece gets coated with the egg mixture. Cover and place back in your refrigerator until all of the egg mixture is absorbed (3 to 5 hours).

  4. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Remove your bread from the refrigerator, uncover, then place in the oven. Bake for 25 to 40 minutes.

Note

This is a highly adaptable recipe. You can make one to 20 slices of French toast at once. This is why my amounts are not specific. The most important factor is allowing one egg per slice of bread and adding your chosen liquid to help the egg absorb.

Keywords: breakfast, dinner, bake, French, toast

This year has been filled with so many endings (and beginnings) that I wouldn’t want to sit here and list them all. The most impactful were our decision to move back to town and the unexpected loss of my sister.

When I posted the last time, I did not anticipate the affect that would have on our lives. Yes, we were frustrated and felt like we were going in circles and had no options. Our situation (and a possible solution) were still coalescing, hadn’t quite completed, when I made that post. However, the reaction we got from the family was … we were gobsmacked. I’m pretty sure once my jaw dropped, it stayed there for a few weeks as the reactions kept getting worse (and more dramatic) by the day.

After looking at real estate prices, we came to the conclusion that we had no alternative but to move back to our house. That meant kicking my sons out, which took time. One decided New Jersey was the place to be (we are in California) and he’s making great progress there. The other moved in with his aunt until he can get some things taken care of and join my other son in New Jersey. He wasn’t able to make this move until July. So, for 7 months, our lives were very stressed. There were a few months solid that no one in the family would even acknowledge my existence (seriously, they would turn their head or look away if I tried to speak to them). I am grateful this was only my husband’s family and not mine.

During this prolonged death, we were dealt with the blow of my sister’s unexpected passing. In the grand scheme of things, it was gratefully quick but … she’s my big sister and it’s still (she passed May 22 of this year) just too raw.

I spent my time going through all of our belongings, packing, catching up on yard work at the house and getting it ready for us to move back in. We are still not officially all moved in but we are getting there. It will just take some time (we will be lucky to be able to clean out our cargo containers by the end of the year). We are actually fixing (not just coping with) our property.

When we were lucky enough to buy this house, we just lived here. There were so many things wrong/things we would love to change, but this was just a temporary place to live. Now? We are actively making this our home. We are repairing the garage floor, will be replacing the kitchen cabinets, will be tearing out some walls, installing new flooring, etc. We might even build a large shed/gym, too!

We are SO happy to be here and SO excited for our future together!

Journal, What I'm Doing Now

Two Years In: Lessons From Living With In-Laws

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In January of 2024, it will be 2 years since we moved in with my in-laws! It has been one wild roller coaster ride that seems to not be slowing down any time soon! I am unable, due to our current living condition, to be brutally explicit about everything but I just want to give an update on life.

Initially, my in-laws wanted to sell their property, buy a house closer to town, and have us live either with them or have a modular home built on the property for them. However, due to the high real estate prices (and low valuation of farm land), this was not financially feasible. So, we moved from a less-than-one-quarter-acre downtown house onto roughly 23 acres. We had such high hopes and plans!

We knew it would be a challenge, adjusting to living with other people after living alone for so long. We had no idea just how challenging it would be. You never really know someone until you live with them. I know this door swings both ways, since I am not an easy person to get along with, but I knew I could make it work. The main issue was there was no room for us here.

We moved from a roughly 800 sq. ft., 2 bedroom home with a garage to a bedroom. We were without any internet for almost a year, having the worst cell phone reception (I never understood the term “Internet Desert” until we move out here, and we only live two miles outside of the city limits). Despite a barn, there was no spare room for our things. “We’ll just get some cargo containers.” We bought two 20-foot cargo containers, yet we still have things at our old house (which is why I am truly thankful my sons are living there).

If this was one of those old homes in Utah, with two kitchens, that would help immensely. However, sharing a completely stocked kitchen (including refrigerator) with another family is difficult. We bought a second freezer … there still isn’t enough room. We have considered buying a mini-fridge and having that in our bedroom, but our space is already so limited.

As for my animals and farming, I had to give all of that up. Thankfully, my former neighbor bought my pheasants from me. My quail came out here and were fed to the land and air spirits (predators fed well for a week while we were moving). I am unable to farm because there are already plans in place for this area or that area.

We began this journey thinking we were finally going to have the space we needed and the ability to help wherever we could. Our hopes got raised, then shot down without a second thought. Now, we have notched that back to being merely caretakers. We are here to fix up the property, “getting it ready to sell.” There were so many projects my in-laws could not keep up with that we still have not completed. We are also here to take care of them if they need it (there have been two health scares that justify our move out here).

What have we learned from this experience so far?

  • We LOVE living alone
  • We LOVE having our own dog (they have two)
  • We LOVE cooking (we never realized how much we loved to cook until we could not)
  • We LOVE being able to plant whatever plants we want
  • We LOVE living in the country, on small country roads (this property borders a rather busy highway that used to be a small country road)
  • We LOVE having neighbors way over there
  • We LOVE raising animals that may end up on our table
  • We LOVE our drama-free life
  • And we still LOVE each other, through all that life has given us over these 25 years together.

Stay tuned for our next chapter, which will be a few years from now. Until then, I have a few other bits of my life to share (I am SO HAPPY to have decent internet)!

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