I have no idea what happened today. I woke up at my normal time, got everything done to make sure my husband wasn’t late for work, and did my meditation. It was supposed to storm all day today so I started watching blooper reels from the show “Supernatural,” It was a great start to what was going to be a wonderful day (I even had a topic ready for the blog)! Then this extremely dark cloud descended on me. I did my best to work around it. I started reading my next book (I just received my first Kindle on Wednesday) but it turned out I needed to read another one first. So, I grabbed that one but barely got through the first chapter (I could not keep my eyes open).
Thankfully, my son came over to visit or I would have been passed out on the couch and not sleep tonight. By the time my husband came home from work, I was in tears. What was I crying about? I have no idea and not being a crier makes it that much worse. I got angry because not only was I crying but I hadn’t written all day, had barely finished half my water, and it turns out it did not rain all day (so I could have actually done something outside).
I decided to relieve my husband of my company and go feel sorry for myself in the shower. I cried some more, then sat there envisioning the dark gunk inside me just washing down the drain. By the end of my “cleansing” this is the song that was rattling around in my brain:
I wish I could say the darkness is 100% gone but it is still sitting there just beneath the surface. Days like today rarely happen any more now that my kids are adults (and not quite so adversarial) but man, when they do it really sucks. I would love for every day to rainbows and sunshine but I guess we need the occasional rainy day so we can truly appreciate those sunny ones.