You know, sometimes, things are going so well. Everything is running smooth, the creative juices are flowing, I’m focused and on target and then BAM! Something smacks me upside the head and somewhere in the back of my mind, this small thought takes shape, “What the hell do you think you are doing?” Today, with everything else on my plate (that I have, I think, been handling pretty damn well), something else reared its ugly head. It wasn’t just one thing, either. Then, for about 30 minutes, I just sat here, mentally throwing my hands in the air and quitting.
So, I walked outside. I took a deep breath. I looked up into the sky and watched the hawks catching the breeze. I spied two Chinook helicopters (OD Green with three large red crosses on the side) and thought, “Heck, maybe I shouldn’t have joked yesterday about going to war.” See, yesterday I heard a Chinook fly by then a couple hours later, a Russian mig flew over (there’s a guy here that owns one and takes it out for a joy ride occasionally). I joke to hubby about war breaking out. This ramble does have a point behind it.
That ramble right there got me out of my “poor me” funk. I giggled (it’s amazing how easily I can amuse myself), came back in the house, and proceeded to make more quilt blocks (I’m teaching myself to quilt to see if I like it and if I do, maybe I can make something to sell). And now, an hour later, I’m am back to my old self (but less crabby than normal). The issues I must deal with, I don’t have to right now. Right now, there isn’t a damn thing I can do about them so I am not about to ruin this day by wallowing in self-pity and worry.
Some stress is good but stressing (instead of preparing or planning) is a waste of energy. If there isn’t anything that can be done right now to alleviate what stresses you then go do something fun. That’s what I’m getting back to right now. I hope you have a fantastic weekend!
So, through all of this self-discovery: looking deep within myself to discover who I truly am and what I truly enjoy, it basically comes down to two titles: I am a student AND a teacher. As a student, I continuously seek knowledge and understanding, delving into various subjects that ignite my passion and curiosity. Each lesson learned adds depth to my perspective, enriching not only my life but also the lives of those around me. Simultaneously, as a teacher, I feel a profound responsibility to share this knowledge and inspire others on their own journeys. The dynamic interplay between learning and teaching creates a cycle of growth and empowerment, where every experience, both as a student absorbing information and a teacher imparting wisdom, shapes my identity and purpose in this vast world.
As I’ve said before: I love to learn. I am constantly on the lookout for some new idea to explore or some project to learn or some skill to master. My curiosity drives me to delve into various subjects, from the intricate worlds of science and technology to the enchanting depths of literature and art. Along the way, though, I love to teach what I am learning/have learned with everyone who is willing to read what I type here. I believe sharing knowledge not only reinforces my own understanding but also sparks new conversations and inspires others to embark on their own learning journeys. Whether through practical tips, insightful reflections, or thought-provoking questions, I aim to create a space where learning is a shared adventure, encouraging a community of enthusiastic learners to connect, explore, and grow together.
I just read an article yesterday “A Writer’s Dirty Little Secret” by Dan Wells that just clicked with me. I do not want to teach, type up blog posts, fix my website, or share links for the betterment of my readers; instead, I approach these tasks with a deeply personal motivation. I do it for me, as the joy I find in the process is profoundly fulfilling. I find it exciting to not just learn these new skills but to share HOW I learned those skills, almost like unraveling a fascinating mystery. I love the challenge of discovering the proper wording to enable people to understand what I am sharing, taking care not to rely on my favorite go-to words like thingamajig, doohickey, or thingamabob, which can sometimes obscure the message I wish to convey. This endeavor allows me to experiment with language and communication, honing my ability to express complex ideas in a relatable manner, fostering a connection that transcends mere sharing and turns it into an enriching experience for both me and those who choose to engage with my writing.
When I was in high school, I took a creative writing class. One of the assignments was to write out instructions, teaching someone how to brush their teeth, while assuming the person had never seen a toothbrush or toothpaste. It was illuminating, discovering the need to dissect terminology which so many of us take for granted when they have been performing a skill/trade/job for years. I know you have run into it before: How-to manuals or websites that have you looking up the definition of words just so you can understand what is required of you just to complete the first step (I have even run into that in many of the “For Dummies” set of books, which did a lot for my self-esteem at the time). This experience not only made me more aware of my own understanding but also humbled me, highlighting how easily we can overlook the basics that are often second nature to us. I have always done my best learning with simple instructions, whether those are from someone I am learning from or I am giving them (especially at the start of a new learning adventure). This principle became especially clear to me as I navigated through various educational and professional scenarios. I learned that quickly when I was an adult, helping jewelers (over the phone) fix a computer problem. In those moments, I had to break down complex technical jargon into everyday language, ensuring that my explanations were both clear and relatable so that the jewelers could troubleshoot effectively without feeling overwhelmed or confused. 🙂
As I work through this realization, my goals are to become not only a better student, deeply committed to properly learn and grow in my pursuits, but also to evolve into a more effective and inspiring teacher for those around me. I recognize that this transformation will take time and effort, and I am not entirely sure how that will look as I navigate this journey of personal and professional development. Each step in this process brings with it new challenges and opportunities for growth, which I am excited to embrace. I find immense joy in sharing this adventure with you, as your support and companionship mean the world to me, and together, we can explore the possibilities that lie ahead while striving to make a positive impact on those in our lives.
Those words (the subject line) actually popped out of my mouth yesterday while I was mid-rant to my husband. They weren’t directed toward him (even though I AM older than him). I was going on and on about an incident that occurred. Now that I’ve been thinking about it (it’s been over 24 hours, so I’m much calmer now) it really isn’t about the disrespect shown to me because I’m an “elder”. It was the disrespect shown to me … period.
See, if you are in my house, you are my guest. I will do whatever I deem necessary to ensure a comfortable, pleasant visit. That is the way I am, whether I like the person or don’t. Why would I be that way to someone I do not like? Because I respect the person who brought them. That wasn’t the case, yesterday. This person I actually liked but my reaction to the situation displays how much respect I have for the person who brought them. Instead of my typical reaction, I walked away.
It took everything within me to turn around and walk out my back door. I do not do well with being shown disrespect from those who I have welcomed into my home (and life). I have a few examples I’m willing to share: When my boss got within an inch of my face, screaming at me, I squared up my shoulders and yelled right back. When my eldest was a teenager, he made the mistake of calling me a bitch to my face and I slapped him, and when my youngest was a teenager and spoke to me the I was spoken to yesterday, I let him have it (vocally) with both barrels. I even stopped being friends with one of my oldest friends for a much smaller showing of disrespect than what was shown to me yesterday … in my own house.
So, why am I writing about this today? Because I’ve been thinking. 🙂 What does respect mean to me? Respect doesn’t mean I bow down to anyone because I respect them. It doesn’t mean that I follow anyone’s advice simply to show respect. It means that I have enough respect in myself to either show restraint in certain situations or to defend myself and those I love. Respect means that when you are in front of me, you will never know how much I like or dislike you (unless that is my intention). I do not demand respect from others, I expect it if that is what I have shown you.
