You know, sometimes, things are going so well. Everything is running smooth, the creative juices are flowing, I’m focused and on target and then BAM! Something smacks me upside the head and somewhere in the back of my mind, this small thought takes shape, “What the hell do you think you are doing?” Today, with everything else on my plate (that I have, I think, been handling pretty damn well), something else reared its ugly head. It wasn’t just one thing, either. Then, for about 30 minutes, I just sat here, mentally throwing my hands in the air and quitting.
So, I walked outside. I took a deep breath. I looked up into the sky and watched the hawks catching the breeze. I spied two Chinook helicopters (OD Green with three large red crosses on the side) and thought, “Heck, maybe I shouldn’t have joked yesterday about going to war.” See, yesterday I heard a Chinook fly by then a couple hours later, a Russian mig flew over (there’s a guy here that owns one and takes it out for a joy ride occasionally). I joke to hubby about war breaking out. This ramble does have a point behind it.
That ramble right there got me out of my “poor me” funk. I giggled (it’s amazing how easily I can amuse myself), came back in the house, and proceeded to make more quilt blocks (I’m teaching myself to quilt to see if I like it and if I do, maybe I can make something to sell). And now, an hour later, I’m am back to my old self (but less crabby than normal). The issues I must deal with, I don’t have to right now. Right now, there isn’t a damn thing I can do about them so I am not about to ruin this day by wallowing in self-pity and worry.
Some stress is good but stressing (instead of preparing or planning) is a waste of energy. If there isn’t anything that can be done right now to alleviate what stresses you then go do something fun. That’s what I’m getting back to right now. I hope you have a fantastic weekend!
I know. I talk about him quite a bit. I swear, I’m not a stalker but he resonates with me. I love his attitude, his delivery, and message. I have been taking his Creative Badass Challenge (I could have sworn I posted about it before but I guess not). I signed up to participate in this challenge on June 3rd (2015). It’s a 28 day program to help you “change the way you live & work.” Officially, I have completed Day 16. It has been much longer than 16 days since I began this challenge but some of the daily challenges took me a lot longer than a day to complete (not to mention my husband’s surgery and other health issues). As of today, I already have a business I am planning for (and thoroughly excited about), and you read my last post outlining my progress in other aspects of getting this business ready for lift-off. I’m just so excited and, when I did the day 16 challenge I just could not believe my eyes: the challenge is to do something that I am currently doing already (began doing this a couple of weeks ago because of my “shiny object” affliction). That’s when I knew I had to spread the word far and wide. You NEED to sign up for this challenge (and complete it … and don’t put it on hold too long, like I did with my Public Speaking course on Coursera so now I have to repeat the last chapter).
Aside from the knowledge and insight you will gain, a great thing about this challenge is IT IS TOTALLY FREE!!!
Dave has been very generous over the years but this, by far, is one of the best deals around. Take this challenge! You will not be disappointed.
Here’s a video explaining the challenge:
So, I have made some steps toward fulfilling my goal of figuring out who I am. See, in an earlier post, I mentioned I am a teacher and student. I love to share all the new crafty things I have been learning … well, no. I love sharing anything I learn, from how to fix your refrigerator to how to crochet this new-to-me stitch. I have also been a bit of a freak (for years and years) about business.
I have always had a voracious appetite for anything having to do with business. My interest was never in a specific business but business in general. I consume anything I can get my grubby little hands on that is even remotely related to business. This week begins a new chapter in my business education. I will be retooling everything. I have registered a new domain name, have come up with a business format (something I will truly love doing that is perfect for my Attention Deficit Disordered mind), and will (once again) be building a new website. I may also (though I’m not quite sure how the transition will happen) be consolidating this blog with one of my other ones and kicking that identity to the curb. I have been feeling that coming on for a long time, that need to break away from the identity I used for so many years on my website, forums and even online radio. I am no longer “Sustainablehome.” I am Brenda Nolen, happy to share who I am and what I have to offer with the world.
That’s where the link above comes in. I can’t tell you how many times I have stared blankly at my “About” page and had no idea what to type. Heck, despite just listening to this podcast, I still have not checked my “About” page here to see how well I did (that’s because that will distract me from my tasks for the day, so I will probably take care of that within the next few weeks). You really need to listen to this podcast if you want to have a fantastic “About” page anywhere (whether it is your blog, web site, Facebook page, or just about anywhere you talk about yourself).
So, through all of this self-discovery: looking deep within myself to discover who I truly am and what I truly enjoy, it basically comes down to two titles: I am a student AND a teacher.
As I’ve said before: I love to learn. I am constantly on the lookout for some new idea to explore or some project to learn or some skill to master. Along the way, though, I love to teach what I am learning/have learned with everyone who is willing to read what I type here (or on my other two blogs).
I just read an article yesterday “A Writer’s Dirty Little Secret” by Dan Wells that just clicked with me. I do not want to teach, type up blog posts, fix my website, or share links for the betterment of my readers. I do it for me. I find it exciting to not just learn these new skills but to share HOW I learned those skills. I love the challenge of discovering the proper wording to enable people to understand what I am sharing (without relying on my favorite go-to words like thingamajig, doohickey, or thingamabob).
When I was in high school, I took a creative writing class. One of the assignments was to write out instructions, teaching someone how to brush their teeth, while assuming the person had never seen a toothbrush or toothpaste. It was illuminating, discovering the need to dissect terminology which so many of us take for granted when they have been performing a skill/trade/job for years. I know you have run into it before: How to manuals or websites that have you looking up the definition of words just so you can understand what is required of you just to complete the first step (I have even run into that in many of the “For Dummies” set of books, which did a lot for my self esteem at the time). I have always done my best learning with simple instructions, whether those are from someone I am learning from or I am giving them (especially at the start of a new learning adventure). I learned that quickly when I was an adult, helping jewelers (over the phone) fix a computer problem. 🙂
So, now that I have discovered this about myself, it’s time for me to share something I’m currently learning about myself. Stay tuned! 🙂
Those words (the subject line) actually popped out of my mouth yesterday while I was mid-rant to my husband. They weren’t directed toward him (even though I AM older than him). I was going on and on about an incident that occurred. Now that I’ve been thinking about it (it’s been over 24 hours, so I’m much calmer now) it really isn’t about the disrespect shown to me because I’m an “elder”. It was the disrespect shown to me … period.
See, if you are in my house, you are my guest. I will do whatever I deem necessary to ensure a comfortable, pleasant visit. That is the way I am, whether I like the person or don’t. Why would I be that way to someone I do not like? Because I respect the person who brought them. That wasn’t the case, yesterday. This person I actually liked but my reaction to the situation displays how much respect I have for the person who brought them. Instead of my typical reaction, I walked away.
It took everything within me to turn around and walk out my back door. I do not do well with being shown disrespect from those who I have welcomed into my home (and life). I have a few examples I’m willing to share: When my boss got within an inch of my face, screaming at me, I squared up my shoulders and yelled right back. When my eldest was a teenager, he made the mistake of calling me a bitch to my face and I slapped him, and when my youngest was a teenager and spoke to me the I was spoken to yesterday, I let him have it (vocally) with both barrels. I even stopped being friends with one of my oldest friends for a much smaller showing of disrespect than what was shown to me yesterday … in my own house.
So, why am I writing about this today? Because I’ve been thinking. 🙂 What does respect mean to me? Respect doesn’t mean I bow down to anyone because I respect them. It doesn’t mean that I follow anyone’s advice simply to show respect. It means that I have enough respect in myself to either show restraint in certain situations or to defend myself and those I love. Respect means that when you are in front of me, you will never know how much I like or dislike you (unless that is my intention). I do not demand respect from others, I expect it if that is what I have shown you.
If you are interested in speaking in any way, I highly recommend taking this Coursera course. I am just about to finish the first module. Once I finish the course, I will post an update and hopefully you will be able to see the improvement in my speaking abilities (as in giving a good speech … not just rambling). As of right now, the videos are unpublished but I will include links with my overview of the course.
I have yet to share my good news! I have a brand new computer (tower) that we did not have to build (for those of you who work on cars, it’s been like that for YEARS. Constantly having to “look under the hood” and replace things. It’s so nice to not have to worry about anything breaking any time soon)! We went to Fry’s Electronics and it was actually cheaper to just pull one off the shelf. I then traded my old tower for a laptop AND last week my son gave me his old phone. So, I not only have video/photo capabilities now BUT a better computer to process them on!
Since I know I want to make You Tube videos and/or podcasts (still don’t know what the subject will be) I decided to take this free course through Coursera:
It’s a self-paced course that does not offer Verified Certificates but it’s a start. See, there is a disconnect between my brain and my mouth. When I’m typing, it’s almost like channeling an intelligent entity. When I speak, I stumble and resort to wording that typically is not meant for the general public. 🙂
I’m REALLY hoping to be able to purchase a video camera soon, so hopefully by the end of the class, I will be able to post an awesome video with no “uh”, “um”, or (my latest term for a person’s name who I really don’t want to work to remember) “whatshisnuts”.
Speaking of Coursera, I am kicking myself in the back side for not taking advantage of more of the courses when they first started. Then, they were all free and most offered certificates of completion. Now, I have noticed, you must pay for most of the courses that offer certificates (if you want that certificate, which would be nice to have). See, my formal education is pretty sparse. The only proof I have that I know certain topics is my word (or to show examples). Those pieces of paper would help immensely if my word/examples are not good enough for a potential employer. I’ll figure something out but in the mean time, I will be loving every second of every free (appropriate … can get easily distracted on the website) course I can get my grubby little paws on!
No, though it feels like it, I have not fallen off the map. I have been dealing (and thinking about) those trials I discussed. Then, once I finally decided how to deal with them, I needed a release. I began a tutorial on Adobe Illustrator (so, once I decide on a logo that represents me, I will be able to make it myself) but spent most of the weekend playing Diablo 3 with my husband.
Today, I needed something that would not require me to sit still, so I thought I would finally listen to this podcast:
Be Everywhere – Building a Profitable BRAND by Thinking Outside the Blog
I downloaded it a while back, thinking I would listen to it once I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. Well, it turns out that if you even think about having a blog, podcast, or You Tube channel (whether it’s for money or not), you NEED to listen to this podcast! He gives wonderful tips for everything from which programs are the best to how to tag/which key words to use! I don’t know why I didn’t listen to this sooner! I am writing my list (I’ve already had video camera and digital camera on my list for a while).
So, let me know what you think and check out the rest of his site. There is so much information that I could (and have) get lost on it!
I set forth on this journey to discover who I truly was and “who I wanted to be when I grew up”. I was positive and excited. Now, a family issue that occurred a little over 10 years ago is rearing its ugly head again and I’m stumped. I feel like it just happened all over again and I truly have no idea what the outcome will be.
When this incident occurred, there was a victim. Through family connections, there were others who, legally, were also considered victims. I was one. Now, the legal system has changed its mind so, here I am, stuck, trying to get those without the required authority to understand what I went through all those years ago and reliving this incident has been trying. I was considered a victim then and there is no record of that decision, so I am liable (again).
I played no part in the incident in question. I had no knowledge of it before it happened, did not participate in it nor did I knowingly allow it to occur, and once I was made aware of it, did everything I could to ensure justice would be served. I did what I thought was right and just, despite the fact that this ripped my family apart and almost cost me my marriage.
Now, for some reason, this incident (and all the emotions associated with it) has poked its head up like a meerkat searching not for danger but for weakness. This week has been an emotional roller coaster but I will not give in. I will do whatever I can legally to remedy this situation and if that does not occur, then I will look into the alternatives I have. Talk about reliving a trauma to learn to cope with it! At least no one can say my life is boring! 🙂