Tag Archives: discovery

Goals, Journal, Tips and Tricks

Emotional Release: Coping with Life’s Struggles

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Now, with this new branch of my learning/growth, I’ve also discovered something else that I need to share and be more open about.  My life (the good and the bad).  No matter who we are, it’s not the problems in life that define us, it is how we have overcome them that shapes our lives and who we will become.  I have tried to keep mostly positive, never sharing when I’m having a rough time of it.  Well, I am currently having a rough time.  Just about a month ago, I found out someone I dearly love has cancer (my step mom).  It was a shock to everyone.  After processing everything and getting into a more positive place, BAM!  Not only does my husband have a gluten sensitivity (not sure yet if it’s celiac), he has to have surgery.  See, he went in for a colonoscopy, the gastroenterologist said everything went well, then two days later I get a phone call from a surgeon.  They tell me we were referred to them by our gastro and they would like to set up an appointment for a consultation. BAM!  It feels like Wile E. Coyote just slammed a huge hammer on our heads (by the way, this phone call was June 3. 2015).  Thankfully, the gastro called a bit later (thank you so much for the warning), stating it’s not cancer but still, this was a huge shock.

Now, these are not the only problems we have experienced.  We have been together for 16 years (married for 15) and have lived through some incidents that I would not wish on anyone else.  But now, I’m older and in a much better place spiritually than ever before.  So, I would like to share my insights as I learn to deal with these.

If you are human, you have problems.  Period.  It does not matter if you are the Dalai Lama or me.  To be human is to experience problems and deal with them (or not … it’s your choice).

How we deal with these problems that surface will define not only who we are but how successful we will be in all aspects of life.  No matter what the problem is, never (ever) say to yourself (as a form of comfort), “Well, it could be worse.” Worse for who?  This problem is yours and how big or small of a role it plays in your life is defined by you and your circumstances.  If someone else would react differently, saying to yourself, “Well, so and so had this happen and they didn’t get upset at all” is a way to blame/shame yourself for having an emotional response.  We are not computers, the Borg, or Vulcans (bet you can’t tell what genre of movies/shows I like).

You are allowed to be upset.  You are allowed to cry.  You are allowed to be sad.  You are allowed to get depressed.  You are allowed to be angry. 

Suppressing any of that will backfire down the road with the next challenge/problem you face.  All those suppressed emotions will build up each time you stomp them down into that hole you have created until, one way or another, they will explode.  Whether that explosion is in the form of a rage-filled temper tantrum or health issues (just think about where you feel it when you bottle up those emotions: your gut.  Do you think it’s some magical coincidence that so many people today have acid reflux disease and/or ulcers and/or intestinal issues?).

So, what are my favorite ways to release my emotions?  Lately, I’ll be sitting here and all of a sudden want to cry.  So, I let myself cry.  There have even been some evenings recently when my husband asks what I want to do (it’s usually a choice between watching a movie/television show together or playing a video game).  My answer is: “I just want to cry.”  And he says, “O.k.” and waits.  Then, I’ll usually pick a movie with lots of testosterone (Action/horror) or we’ll sit a kill demons (Diablo 3).

My ultimate favorite way to release these emotions, though, is to scream/yell.  Seriously.  I just stand outside and just let loose (I’ll do this inside if it’s too late so I don’t disturb the neighbors).  Have you ever watched the movie, “Full Metal Jacket”?  Let me hear your war cry.  I do it as long and as many times as I can until I think I’m done.

Let me hear your war cry!

So, what’s next.  Breathe.  I’m serious.  I take a long, deep breath then let it out slowly.  It’s amazing how little we breathe when we are upset.  We usually take shallow, quick breaths when we are too upset to think straight.  It usually only takes me a few breaths until I can think a bit more rationally.

Now, I ask myself:

Is there anything right now I can do to remedy this situation? 

  1. If my answer is yes, I make all the plans necessary to do it, then do it!  I don’t wait or dwell, worry or fret, I get busy (depending on the situation, Google is great for this).
  2. If the answer is no and there is nothing I can do right now to remedy this situation, I figure out a way to let it go, mentally, for the time being.  This is especially difficult if it is a health issue.  If it is, for the love of yourself and everyone around you, DO NOT CONSULT DR. GOOGLE!  That one “innocent” search could take you from having a minor ulcer to colon cancer in three clicks.

You may be asking me, “O.k., smartass, how do I just let something like that go?”  Find something, anything else to occupy your mind.  I’m completely serious.  Just make sure whatever it is takes all your concentration.  So far, since finding out about my husband’s surgery consultation, I have cleaned my neighbor’s house (it’s my neighbor, so I had to concentrate and do a thorough job), listened to 4+ hours of interviews from Hay House’s 2015 World Summit, written two small blog posts (this will be my third and longest one), meditated a couple of times (this one was the most difficult to do), done my free weight lifting routine (if you have ever used a barbell while not concentrating, you know the consequences), begun physically reading two books.

Now, I’m not telling you to just ignore whatever situation/challenge you find yourself dealing with.  Thoughts and feelings regarding it ARE going to pop into your head (and depending on the severity of the situation, this might happen quite often) but you can’t dwell on something that you currently have no solution to. Just acknowledge those thoughts, fears, or worries then let them drift right back out of your head like they are floating on a stream.

And that’s pretty much where I’m at now.  The thoughts float in, then I let them float right back out of my head (except this morning when I was trying to fix the @#$% wi-fi … that’s all I could think about, so at least I wasn’t dwelling on the bigger issue 🙂 ).

Goals, Journal

Embracing the Student-Teacher Dual Role

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So, through all of this self-discovery: looking deep within myself to discover who I truly am and what I truly enjoy, it basically comes down to two titles: I am a student AND a teacher. As a student, I continuously seek knowledge and understanding, delving into various subjects that ignite my passion and curiosity. Each lesson learned adds depth to my perspective, enriching not only my life but also the lives of those around me. Simultaneously, as a teacher, I feel a profound responsibility to share this knowledge and inspire others on their own journeys. The dynamic interplay between learning and teaching creates a cycle of growth and empowerment, where every experience, both as a student absorbing information and a teacher imparting wisdom, shapes my identity and purpose in this vast world.

As I’ve said before: I love to learn. I am constantly on the lookout for some new idea to explore or some project to learn or some skill to master. My curiosity drives me to delve into various subjects, from the intricate worlds of science and technology to the enchanting depths of literature and art. Along the way, though, I love to teach what I am learning/have learned with everyone who is willing to read what I type here. I believe sharing knowledge not only reinforces my own understanding but also sparks new conversations and inspires others to embark on their own learning journeys. Whether through practical tips, insightful reflections, or thought-provoking questions, I aim to create a space where learning is a shared adventure, encouraging a community of enthusiastic learners to connect, explore, and grow together.

I just read an article yesterday “A Writer’s Dirty Little Secret” by Dan Wells that just clicked with me. I do not want to teach, type up blog posts, fix my website, or share links for the betterment of my readers; instead, I approach these tasks with a deeply personal motivation. I do it for me, as the joy I find in the process is profoundly fulfilling. I find it exciting to not just learn these new skills but to share HOW I learned those skills, almost like unraveling a fascinating mystery. I love the challenge of discovering the proper wording to enable people to understand what I am sharing, taking care not to rely on my favorite go-to words like thingamajig, doohickey, or thingamabob, which can sometimes obscure the message I wish to convey. This endeavor allows me to experiment with language and communication, honing my ability to express complex ideas in a relatable manner, fostering a connection that transcends mere sharing and turns it into an enriching experience for both me and those who choose to engage with my writing.

When I was in high school, I took a creative writing class. One of the assignments was to write out instructions, teaching someone how to brush their teeth, while assuming the person had never seen a toothbrush or toothpaste. It was illuminating, discovering the need to dissect terminology which so many of us take for granted when they have been performing a skill/trade/job for years. I know you have run into it before: How-to manuals or websites that have you looking up the definition of words just so you can understand what is required of you just to complete the first step (I have even run into that in many of the “For Dummies” set of books, which did a lot for my self-esteem at the time). This experience not only made me more aware of my own understanding but also humbled me, highlighting how easily we can overlook the basics that are often second nature to us. I have always done my best learning with simple instructions, whether those are from someone I am learning from or I am giving them (especially at the start of a new learning adventure). This principle became especially clear to me as I navigated through various educational and professional scenarios. I learned that quickly when I was an adult, helping jewelers (over the phone) fix a computer problem. In those moments, I had to break down complex technical jargon into everyday language, ensuring that my explanations were both clear and relatable so that the jewelers could troubleshoot effectively without feeling overwhelmed or confused. 🙂

As I work through this realization, my goals are to become not only a better student, deeply committed to properly learn and grow in my pursuits, but also to evolve into a more effective and inspiring teacher for those around me. I recognize that this transformation will take time and effort, and I am not entirely sure how that will look as I navigate this journey of personal and professional development. Each step in this process brings with it new challenges and opportunities for growth, which I am excited to embrace. I find immense joy in sharing this adventure with you, as your support and companionship mean the world to me, and together, we can explore the possibilities that lie ahead while striving to make a positive impact on those in our lives.

Journal

Respect for Elders

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Those words (the subject line) actually popped out of my mouth yesterday while I was mid-rant to my husband.  They weren’t directed toward him (even though I AM older than him).  I was going on and on about an incident that occurred.  Now that I’ve been thinking about it (it’s been over 24 hours, so I’m much calmer now) it really isn’t about the disrespect shown to me because I’m an “elder”.  It was the disrespect shown to me … period.

See, if you are in my house, you are my guest.  I will do whatever I deem necessary to ensure a comfortable, pleasant visit.  That is the way I am, whether I like the person or don’t.  Why would I be that way to someone I do not like?  Because I respect the person who brought them.  That wasn’t the case, yesterday.  This person I actually liked but my reaction to the situation displays how much respect I have for the person who brought them.  Instead of my typical reaction, I walked away.

It took everything within me to turn around and walk out my back door.  I do not do well with being shown disrespect from those who I have welcomed into my home (and life).  I have a few examples I’m willing to share: When my boss got within an inch of my face, screaming at me, I squared up my shoulders and yelled right back.  When my eldest was a teenager, he made the mistake of calling me a bitch to my face and I slapped him, and when my youngest was a teenager and spoke to me the I was spoken to yesterday, I let him have it (vocally) with both barrels.  I even stopped being friends with one of my oldest friends for a much smaller showing of disrespect than what was shown to me yesterday … in my own house.

So, why am I writing about this today?  Because I’ve been thinking.  🙂  What does respect mean to me?  Respect doesn’t mean I bow down to anyone because I respect them.  It doesn’t mean that I follow anyone’s advice simply to show respect.  It means that I have enough respect in myself to either show restraint in certain situations or to defend myself and those I love.  Respect means that when you are in front of me, you will never know how much I like or dislike you (unless that is my intention).  I do not demand respect from others, I expect it if that is what I have shown you.