Personal Issues – Tests

Victim Or Victor-2

I set forth on this journey to discover who I truly was and “who I wanted to be when I grew up”.  I was positive and excited.  Now, a family issue that occurred a little over 10 years ago is rearing its ugly head again and I’m stumped.  I feel like it just happened all over again and I truly have no idea what the outcome will be.

When this incident occurred, there was a victim.  Through family connections, there were others who, legally, were also considered victims.  I was one.  Now, the legal system has changed its mind so, here I am, stuck, trying to get those without the required authority to understand what I went through all those years ago and reliving this incident has been trying.  I was considered a victim then and there is no record of that decision, so I am liable (again).

I played no part in the incident in question.  I had no knowledge of it before it happened, did not participate in it nor did I knowingly allow it to occur, and once I was made aware of it, did everything I could to ensure justice would be served.  I did what I thought was right and just, despite the fact that this ripped my family apart and almost cost me my marriage.

Now, for some reason, this incident (and all the emotions associated with it) has poked its head up like a meerkat searching not for danger but for weakness.  This week has been an emotional roller coaster but I will not give in.  I will do whatever I can legally to remedy this situation and if that does not occur, then I will look into the alternatives I have.  Talk about reliving a trauma to learn to cope with it!  At least no one can say my life is boring!  🙂

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Personal Branding – Who Am I? – Values

These are steps one and two of defining who you are from The Complete Guide to Building Your Personal Brand.

This one has been particularly difficult.  The goal is to define your values, then prioritize them.  That tiny list of values on their page did nothing for me.  I really had no idea what was required of me.  So, a-Googling I went.

Creating And Living by Your Own List of Values

And

What Are Your Values? (This one has a list of 100 values to choose from)

So, what are my values?  They are things I never equated to values.  The first thing that popped into my head when I read the word “Values” was the Bible but did any one example show itself?  Nope.  I obviously have never thought of values.  Here is the initial list I wrote down.  It’s pretty much alphabetical.

Initial List of Values:

  • Achievement
  • Competence
  • Challenging Problems
  • Decisiveness (which is a difficult one for me, since I tend to weigh the pros and cons of so many of the decisions I make that by the time I make a decision, it’s either too late or I’ve lost interest)
  • Efficiency
  • Growth
  • My Husband
  • Honesty
  • Influencing Others
  • Responsibility and Accountability
  • Knowledge
  • Personal Development
  • Quality of What I Take Part In
  • Stability

So, now I have to whittle this list down.  Not just that, I also have to put whatever list I end up with in order of importance!  Now is when you get to see how my brain works.  See, I think Competence and Efficiency should go hand in hand (so I can just move those to a single entry 🙂 ).  Also, Honesty should go hand in hand with Responsibility and Accountability because if you are blaming others for something you are at fault for, isn’t that lying (not only to others but yourself)?  I do not like the term “Influencing Others”.  In my brain, that sounds pushy, like I’m trying to be Obi Wan Kenobi (I love this image, from the presentation: Neuromarketing: The Brain Science of Web Marketing)

Doesn’t “Educating Others” sound better?  So, that would go with Knowledge, right?  😀  See what I mean about how my brain works?  There never is a single ‘correct’ answer.  I will delete (yes, remove) Stability.  While I love Stability (especially financial … knowing I will be able to continue to pay bills is wonderful), embarking on this life-altering mission of discovery has (or will) upset the apple cart.  Now, to prioritize.

Here’s my new list, in order of importance:

  1. My Husband (who is wonderfully accepting of all my tangents/projects/changes I’ve already made in my life)
  2. Competence, Efficiency and Quality
  3. Knowledge and Educating Others
  4. Responsibility, Accountability and Honesty
  5. Growth

So, that’s it!  My brain’s exhausted.  I haven’t used it this much since I was learning to meditate (yeah, you read that right.  It was truly exhausting teaching my brain to stop fidgeting).  Are you ready to truly look at yourself and figure out what values you hold in highest regard?

Tomorrow, I’m onto Step Three (and possibly Four, depending on how long it takes me to complete Step Three) of defining who you are from The Complete Guide to Building Your Personal Brand.  I’ll see you then!

Who Am I?

This is the purpose for a completely separate blog.  As too many people know, I have Attention Deficit Disorder.  I wear that like a badge of honor.  I love to learn.  Learn what?  Well, just about anything that catches my eye!  I also love to share what I learn.  That is why I have three You Tube Channels (well, 4 if you want to count the one that I have, for all intents and purposes, abandoned), three blogs, two Twitter accounts, two Facebook pages in addition to my main profile and one royally messed up website.  I know not everyone is like me (mentally scattered) so I do my best to compartmentalize the treasures I find online.  One cool little feature I discovered on here (WordPress) is a little widget for Goodreads!  So, pop over here (to this blog) if you are ever bored and want to take a gander at what I’ve been reading.  The list resembles a Jackson Pollock painting!  🙂

So, last month’s Winter Solstice.  That is really what this post (and blog) are about.  For the first time, it felt like that was the dawning of a new year/new phase in my life.  I can’t explain why.  As the night wore on, it felt as if the clouds were parting.  I cannot think of a better way to describe it but that is when I went a-searching online for some way to figure out who I really am and what I want to be when I grow up.

Explaining my search paths online is worse than trying to tell someone my train of thought when I blurt out a totally random observation. So, simply put, somehow I stumbled onto a tutorial on Lynda.com (I think it was somehow through Dave Conrey of Fresh Rag but don’t quote me). It is Personal Branding Basics with Lorrie Thomas Ross.  It is geared toward the career-minded professional but it got me thinking:  Who am I?  What is my role in this life?  How do I want to be portrayed to the world? Most importantly, how do I want to be remembered?

Do I really only want people to remember me for posting smart-assed memes and videos on Facebook?  Not really.  I have always wanted those who have known me to somehow feel enriched by the experience (well, except for those individuals who, if they magically dropped off the face of the earth I would not mourn) but feel like I have failed miserably.  This is why I strayed away from survivalist topics (for the most part) a few years ago.  It’s such doom and gloom.  You can only point out how corrupt the government is so often without it becoming oppressive (not to mention depressing and a bit fatalistic).

So, here I am having, what seems like a bit of a mid-life crisis (no, mid-life discovery).  This is where the entire journey begins and will be chronicled.  Are you ready for it?  🙂

The 2015 Version Of You – Setting Goals

My Atkins Keto Journey

And another fantastic bit of wisdom shared by Elliott Hulse. I’ve never really been a goal setter. No, that’s not true. I’ve never set big, life-altering specific goals for myself. I set small ones all the time (like finishing a project) but I have always found it difficult to not only figure out “what I want to be when I grow up” but how long it should take to get there and what specific steps I need to take.

That’s where I find myself now. I am now, at the age of 46, truly looking at my life and, by attempting to define who I am at this moment, doing my best to figure out what direction I want my life to take (basically, who and what I want to be when I grow up). I’m going much deeper than the typical New Year’s resolution (which I don’t do).

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